Thursday, December 20, 2012

Chapter Two - Page 15

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Thus ends Chapter Two - badly, I'd say, for the John Doe. 

Chapter Three is where the story really starts to pick up, I feel. We get to see what became of our main character, the flying-off-bridge man from the prologue. Joe. Joseph, if you're feeling formal. Joseph Richard Reed, if you're carving his tombstone. Perhaps prematurely? Perhaps not. 

Care for another Starving Artist Recipe? No? Too bad. My blog, my rules!

Indi's World-Famous Spinach-Turkey Spaghetti Sauce (see, I can say that, because I have actually cooked it in multiple continents!) WORLD FAMOUS, FOOL. RESPECT.

1 10oz frozen chopped spinach (thawed) ($1)
1 1/2 - 2 lbs ground turkey (or beef, if you prefer, but I like the turkey) ($3-4 if you get it on special)
1 bundle green onions (50 cents)
3 20oz cans tomato sauce (fer chrissake, don't get the reduced sodium shite, it taints the whole thing) ($2)
1 6oz can tomato paste (50 cents)
1 head garlic (peeled and cracked) (50 cents just to make my math easier, it should be more like 25). COUNT THE CLOVES. Seriously, just make a note of how many cloves you have.
Oregano, Sage, Thyme, Sea Salt, Black Pepper, White Pepper (important!), Cayenne, Chili Powder (sometimes I add in a little cumin, which I know would make real chefs wince, but I LIKE IT. Deal with it.)
1 bottle cheap wine (I can find strawberry sparkling wine for $5. I'm not actually including this money in the recipe cost, though, since it's TECHNICALLY optional. Ask any starving artist, though, and they're likely to agree to its mandatory nature with me.)

Brown the ground turkey with the garlic cloves. Add the spinach, and all of the spices. I don't measure, I'm sorry. I just shake in. I'd say two shakes of the O, S, T, BP; one shake of the SS, WP, CP, and a pinch of Cayenne.  Open the bottle of wine, pour yourself a glass. Drink. It's important that this step only come now (and continue well on through the recipe, and beyond) because if you started before right now, you couldn't decipher my spice code above. Add in the green onions and stir. Let cook down for about 2 minutes.

Add in the tomato paste. It's weird, I know. Spoon it all in there and just kinda mash the meat and spinach and onions into it until it gets spread about evenly. Or evenly-ish. I don't know why this ingredient is important, but it is. Add none of it, and the sauce is weird somehow. But add too much, and it's bitter. So 4-6 oz should do fine.

Add in the tomato sauce - all of it. It looks like too much, but it'll cook down.  Stir a lot. Pour more wine and drink it. Stir more. Simmer simmer simmer. Do not boil, don't let it burn to the bottom. Stir more. MORE. 

After about I dunno, are you drunk yet?? Don't pass out and forget about it. You can't afford to waste the ingredients. 30 minutes? 2 hours? How hungry are you?? Taste often, spice up as needed. When it tastes good, take out all the garlic. For some reason it can bitter up the sauce if left in. I don't make the rules, I just wince at all the mistakes and eat barely edible food until I learn 'em. Make sure you get them all! Remember I had you count! Don't tell me you weren't warned! 

Use in whatever form you want and eat. About 8 bucks, and this makes a LOT OF SAUCE. Very versatile! Use with different pastas, works great in lasagna (which I love, but rarely make, since spaghetti noodles are cheap but lasagna noodes+ricotta/mozzarella+parmesan, etc are less so), pretend you're more gourmet and healthy than you are by spooning some into a red pepper with a little mozzarella and roasting in the oven. Figure out spaghetti squash instead of noodles to serve with that.  W. O. sometimes makes "classy" sloppy joes, or puts a bit on an english muffin or a bit of sourdough to make pizzas. The point is, it goes a very long way, and you don't feel TOO bored before it's gone. I can feed two people on this recipe (with minimal additionals per meal to change it up) for three or four dinners. WOOT.

Stay tuned for Chapter THREE - A Matter of Life and Death


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